The Cullens, To Bead Or Not To Bead?
by eccentricity is a virtue
Summary: Alice inflicts another torture upon her unsuspecting family. Beads, boredom, bedlam!
1. Chapter 1

**Go to our profile for an explanation of the "Two-Author" thing.**

**Neither of us own Twilight, blah, blah, blah...**

**Hope you enjoy my ramblings! (I'm Edie, by the way, the other author's Anna).**

**  
CHAPTER ONE  
Bella's Point of View**

"NO!!" screamed Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie, Edward and I simultaneously.  
Jasper stepped carefully forward and laid a hand on a pouting Alice's shoulder.  
"Maybe that's not the best idea, Alice." he said calmly, Alice turned to him with the smug smile she'd had when she delivered the news.  
"Jasper, I _know_ this will turn out okay, I promise nothing will go wrong, and everyone will love it!"  
"No we won't!" we cried in unison.  
"Yes you will, it's just a class, three hours from your lives!"  
"A class in jewelry making! Probably the most boring thing I could ever do with a Saturday." complained Edward from behind me.  
"Yes, life's just too short for that kind of thing," Alice sighed dramatically, then smiled."Oh, wait! _Your _life isn't too short! Hurray for immortality!"  
"_My_ life is." it was time I had a say in this; I had put up with shopping, I had put up with Alice using me as her own personal Barbie doll, but _jewelry making_! This was one step too far.  
"You'll enjoy it! I have foreseen!"  
"But Alice! I don't wanna!" Emmett was desperate, he'd resorted to whimpering like a small child. Edward laughed. Big mistake.  
Emmet growled and crouched menacingly; Edward did the same, until I grabbed a nearby newspaper and hit him on the head, told him to stop acting like a child, then did the same to Emmett.  
Edward glowered at me melodramatically, I grinned back at him. His face soon softened, he was no match for me!  
"Emm...okay...anyway, are we ready to go?" exclaimed Alice brightly, quickly getting over her confusion.  
"NO!!" everyone screamed again.  
"I'm not going! You'll never take me alive!" wailed Emmet, clinging to Rosalie's arm.  
"Emmett, you _aren't_ alive!" Alice rolled her eyes.  
"I'm still not going!" he was now cowering behind Rosalie.  
"Alice, _I'll_ go with you, but maybe we should just let the others stay home..."  
Jasper finished his sentence, turning it into something between a question and a plea.  
"No! They'll really enjoy it! Really!" she replied, she was being difficult now.  
"Maybe we should just go." I whispered to Edward who was still glaring at Emmet, who, in turn, was glaring at Edward.  
"Whatever you say." I was surprised by his simple answer, I was expecting him to put up a fight. "We'll take the volvo." he said to Alice.  
"Fantastic! Emmett and Rosalie can go with you and Carlisle, Esme and I will take the porsche!" she was starting to bounce up and down in excitement now, it worried me.  
"You don't seriously think that _I'm_ going?" snorted Rosalie crossing her arms.  
"Come on, Rose! You'll enjoy it!" the bouncing stopped.  
"Yeah right!"  
"Come on, we'd better get out of here before things get ugly." I heard Edward's voice in my ear as he took my hand and led me outside.  
After a few minutes of sitting in the car Esme and Carlisle exited the house and headed toward Alice's porsche, both wearing matching expressions of horror at the thought of what they were about to do.  
Emmett came out next, alone. Rosalie had obviously won.  
An angry looking Alice and a distraught Jasper followed. Jasper was clearly trying to cheer her up, but it didn't look like he was succeeding.  
"Will this be horrible?" I asked Edward.  
"Yes"  
"Will it be _bearable_ ?" I asked my worried frown deepening.  
"I hope so."

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	2. Chapter 2

**Go to our profile for an explanation of the "Two-Author" thing.**

DISCLAIMER- I (as you already know) don't own twilight or any of it's characters,

Poor me!!

Authors Note: Hey this is the second author of this story, Anna!! Hope you enjoy!

**Alice's point of view**

I danced into the community centre pulling along my reluctant family.  
The last time I'd made jewelery was in the sixties at a music festival, the beads were so colourful. Oh, how I miss the era of tie dye!

I enthusiastically greeted a woman wearing a long, flowing, multicoloured dress who seemed to be the teacher of our course.  
"Greetings, My names Crystal, I can tell from your aura you are a happy person, please sit. Join us in our circle of happiness…" she smiled peacefully and gestured towards a group of people sitting on the floor of a room which was lit by dozens of candles. Behind me I heard a snort, I whipped around to glare at Emmett who seemed to find it _funny_, the snorting immediately stopped.

As we took are places on the ground I gave Jasper a smile, maybe if I was nice enough he'd agree to join me in a shopping trip, there was a really cute dress I saw in the window of a shop on the way here….

Crystals voice filled the room:  
"Now I want you all to take a deep breath in, and out, and in, and out. The key to ultimate jewelry making is utter peace…."

Edward rolled his eyes and Bella looked like she was trying not to laugh.

After several minutes of deep breaths (which was kind of unnecessary for me as I don't really have to _breath_) Emmett asked when was she going to start teaching us how to make jewelry.

"Oh, I won't be teaching you how to make jewelry, your souls will teach you….they'll tell you when the time is right."

Since as I am a vampire and I'm not quite sure if I have a soul or not, I decided to start. I quickly grabbed the prettiest beads.

"Alice!" hissed Bella, sitting crosslegged beside me, she glared meaningfully at the beads.

"Yes?" I asked, not understanding.

"What if my... what if I were to...have a ... mishap with the beads...due to..."

"Your clumsiness?" I finished.

"Yes." she hissed again.

"She's right, though it would be extremely funny to see her dropping beads everywhere!" muttered Emmett grinning wildly.

"She won't." I snarled and turned back to my beads.

I decided to make a pair of bead swan earrings and set to work. It was infuriatingly annoying working at human speed rather than vampire speed. Yet I still managed to be finished before everyone else……

I looked up from my swans to see Edward glaring at me.  
"What?" I asked under my breath

"Alice, this may surprise you but NO ONE is enjoying themselves! Carlisle so bored he's imagining dissecting crystals, Esme hates leaving 'Poor Rosalie' all on her own, Bella is hating every minute of this, I personally think I'll never ever forgive you and Emmett can't even pick up a bead with his _huge_ hands!"

I suddenly felt a wave of calm wash over me. I turned to see Jasper glaring at Edward.

"Don't you ever talk like that to my wife again Edward" he hissed

Edwards face suddenly filled with grief. Jasper was obviously making him sad

Serves him right! He'll see, they'll all see...!!


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER- I don't own anything!**

**Authors Note-Edie wrote this fanfiction chapter, but it's i 'Anna the great' who's posting it up and thats why the Authors notes written by me! Actually I'm not so great more like 'Anna the incredibly bored so has taken to posting up her friends fanfiction as she has no social life'. He, He!! Hope you enjoy Edie's chapter!**

Half an hour into the class it was very nearly getting to be too much for me, despite Jaspers attempts to calm us.  
I'd finished two bracelets and been told that my "aura" was "sad".  
Emmett had crushed countless beads with his monstrous hands, Bella had only finished one quarter of a necklace because she kept dropping the beads.  
Alice was deliriously happy and totally oblivious to the fact that the rest of us were hating every second of this torture. She sat creating elaborate bird shaped earrings with intricate beaded feathers smiling in euphoria.  
Esme and Carlisle had both chosen to remain totally quiet and show no expression at all throughout the whole ordeal, Esme was still worrying about Rosalie and hoping that she and Alice would be civil to each other when we returned.

Edward's Point of view.

Crystal eventually told us that we could go outside for a few minutes to get some fresh air, "cleanse our souls" and so that the beads could "ready themselves for being shaped".

As soon as we were outside Emmett, Bella and I burst into laughter and couldn't stop.  
Eventually I composed myself enough to say;  
"Come on, we have to stop laughing or the air won't cleanse our souls fully!"  
which set us off again.  
Alice stood glaring at us all with Jasper behind her trying not to laugh.  
Esme giggled and was rewarded with a glare from Alice.  
Alice's expression turned from angry to hurt.  
"You really aren't enjoying it?" she asked in a barely audible voice.  
"Alice, it's not that we're not enjoying it," Bella reassured her. "It's just that it's not exactly my forté."  
"I'm enjoying it!" Esme lied in an attempt to cheer her up. Alice knew she was lying but decided to remain oblivious to it.  
"Really?" she asked, her eyes brightening.  
"Yes." Esme replied, she was a terrible liar.  
"Maybe we should do it again some time, they have a weekly class, I think-"  
"NO!!" we interrupted simultaneously for the third time today.  
Alice pouted again.

"The beads are ready! You may enter the peace circle!" called Crystal from the doorway.

I stepped toward Bella, gripped her hand and muttered;  
"But, I don't think my soul is fully cleansed yet!" making her giggle and Alice glare.  
The next two and a half hours were going to be Hell.

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	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHOR'S NOTE- Hi! This is Anna! I hope you enjoy Emmett and his greatness!**

**DISCLAIMER- I don't own twilight or any of the characters, but how cool would it be to have your own Edward!?**

**CHAPTER 4**

**EMMETT'S POINT OF VIEW**

I grabbed another fistful of beads and watched them crumble in my hands.  
"Why are beads so stupidly breakable!" I said, my voice louder than I had intended.

"It's not beads that are breakable, it's the fury in your hands, the beads can feel your stress that is why they are breaking" replied Crystal in a distant voice while tossing her braided purple hair over her shoulder.

If she didn't shut up soon the dumb beads weren't going to be the only broken thing in the room…!

Rosalie was so lucky, she was at home, free! How I longed for freedom! How I wished I could be at home watching the Star Wars marathon! She would probably be painting her nails or taking part in some other immensely boring activity instead of taking advantage of the amazing space adventure that was just a click away.

Suddenly, I felt a bead hit the back of my head. I turned to see Jasper glaring at me;  
"Can you please control your emotions?! I keep feeling longing, so could you please stop thinking about Rosalie!?"

"I wasn't longing for Rosalie..." I began (Star Wars Rules!), but I soon lost concentration, the bead he had thrown at me gave me sudden inspiration.  
"_BEAD WAR!!"_ I yelledas I grabbed some of the beads I had already crushed.

Everyone took a minute to register this except of course for Alice who had 'seen' what I would do.

"EMMETT NO!!" she cried.

I hurled the beads at her, which she with her vampire speed managed to dodge.

"That's the second time today someone's attacked my wife! First Edward now you!" roared the normally peaceful Jasper as he fired beads at me.

I attempted to hit him with a handful of beads but he leaped out of the way before they hit him. The beads flew past Jasper and hit Bella right in the eye.

"Owwww!! My eye!! Ouch!!" Bella yelped while clutching her eye in agony.

"Bella, Bella are you okay??" asked Edward

"Do I look okay ?!" screeched Bella as Esme comforted her.

Edward turned to me glaring, holding an entire bowl of beads and dumped them on my head.

I yelped as the beads slide down my shirt "That tickles!"

"Stop" pleaded Esme and Crystal, as Carlisle sat in the corner with an anxious expression on his face.

"Don't, you might hurt your self!" pleaded Esme

"Don't, you might hurt the room's calm aura!" pleaded Crystal.

Beads continued to fly everywhere, the air was filled with multi-coloured spheres.

This was the most fun I've had all day! Alice was right; I was enjoying this work shop! I never realised that art was fun!

I love jewelery!

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	5. Chapter 5

**Hi, it's Edie, that's right I've started writing my own author's notes, I wrote this one all by myself!  
I hope you've enjoyed our crazy ramblings, I mean story, so far! Thank you briittx xhc for reviewing! (Sorry all chapters are short!)  
Don't own anything!**

CHAPTER 5  
Crystal's point of view.

The rooms aura was angry, anyone could have felt that, even someone who was not a Chosen One. Despite this the largest of the group , who had curly hair, continued to disrupt my peace circle.  
He and two others, one with blonde hair and another with bronze, flung  
my sacred spheres at each other.  
"Please, stop." I tried to stay calm, Remember what the blue bird told you, Crystal I thought. " You're disrupting the peace centre." I pleaded.  
I then closed my eyes and breathed deeply, trying to tune out the anger.  
"Please, I can feel you're anger." I pleaded again.  
"You think you feel anger!" the blonde boy muttered. I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, and usually I found it very easy to be empathetic...this group was the strangest I'd ever taught, even compared to those deranged Irish tourists who were totally obsessed with some musical, and kept singing.  
"Please." no one was listening to me!

" Shut up!" screamed the nice girl with the black hair, standing up, grabbing the blonde one's elbow and pushing him towards his cushion in the peace circle.Then the girl with the long brown hair who looked shy, kept giggling and continuously dropped beads on the floor rose and dragged the bronze haired one in the same way. She sat down beside him, keeping her hand on his shoulder to hold him back, he obviously had a temper. Maybe that was why he was so pale and sickly looking, anger is not good for one's aura.  
The curly haired irritating one stood in the middle of the room, confused by what had just happened, then eventually sat down again.  
The other two, who I presumed to be the parents of the others, stared. They hadn't seemed to be paying attention, the man would roll his eyes occasionally and his wife would throw worried glances toward her children every now and again. They had only looked up when the short, dark haired girl screamed, so they must be extremely confused.

"Emmm..." I began, I knew I had to say something to calm the rooms peace circle."Maybe we should all go outside and get some fresh air, the beads need rejuvenation".  
The bronze haired one whispered something to the girl with long hair and she giggled. Then everyone rose from the circle and left.

Glad to be rid of them, if even just for ten minutes, I sat down and closed my eyes. The calm energy field was being slowly eroded by the anger coming from those people! I didn't think any human could be that annoying! I began to wonder if my usually peaceful aura would ever recover from this ordeal. The blue bird would know what to do with those freaks.  
They are quite clearly insane, most people I can empathise with, it's almost as if I can read minds or feel the emotions of others but these people I could not understand. I was also usually pretty intuitive too, like I could predict what people were going to do, see the future, but these nut-cases were unpredictable.  
I then heard the voice of the bronze haired boy from outside:  
"Dear God, you should here what that nutcase is thinking!".  
What a freak.

**Hope you liked it! The Irish tourist thing may only be funny to people who know me...Reviews bring good karma!**


	6. Chapter 6

**AUTHOR'S NOTE-Greetings! It is I, Anna! Thanks for the reviews, good karma to you!**

DISCLAIMER- Sadly i

I**am unfortunate enough not to own twilight or its characters, doesn't that suck?**

CHAPTER 6  
JASPER'S POINT OF VIEW

When the beads had finished, yet again, preparing themselves we returned to the room. The room was a whirlwind of emotion, it was worse than the time Alice didn't get to buy a pair of shoes she had wanted and had been depressed for weeks. The room smelled strongly of of herbal candles. Crystal had obviously been trying new methods of calming.  
The room seemed emptier, it took me a while to see that the other group who had originally been with us at the start of class had evacuated the centre, how depressing-our company was not being greeted with any signs of delight.

Crystal was far from the calmness of usual hippy self. Her shoulders were tense. I suppose her aura would have been called 'stressed' if you were into that kind of thing which, I quite plainly, was not.  
Edward and Emmett were finding it hard to contain themselves. They were shaking with laughter as Crystal murmured something to the effect of 'What would the blue bird do?' and 'calm is the key'.  
Alice was glaring at everyone. Poor her she always meant well. I looked fondly at her, it wasn't her fault the rest of us weren't quite as ... enthusiastic as her about the process of jewellery making with a crazed happy-hippy.

Bella dropped her quarter completed necklace spilling the few beads which had been on the wire onto the floor. She looked up annoyed.  
"Curse the beads, curse them all to the fiery pits of hell!" she exclaimed, which set everyone of into fits of laughter.  
"Enough! You're a nightmare! I can't handle this! Your maniacs!" yelled Crystal.  
"We're maniacs?!" whispered Edward to Bella  
"Yes your all so unrealistically annoying! It's like you're strange mythical creatures of... pure evil! That's it I'm done with this hippy trash! I hate you all!" she roared a she stormed out of the room.  
We all looked around at each other  
"Mythical creatures of evil? How did she know we were vampires?!" exclaimed Emmett. He seemed to have found Crystals outburst hilarious.  
"I'm impressed, we managed to crack the forever peaceful crystal!" I agreed

Everyone joined in with the cheers of triumph. I turned around to Alice who looked like the world had just ended.  
"My...My...My wonderful beading class! Ruined! Why!? Why does fate hate me so?" she moaned.  
I placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.  
"Maybe jewellery making is just not our thing, we'll try something new next time!" I murmured into her ear.  
"NEXT TIME!?" Bella yelled sending Alice yet again back into her state of utter despair

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	7. Chapter 7

**This is the final chapter, but don't worry, we're now working on about four more fanfictions! Sorry it's so amazingly short!**  
**Chapter 7  
Bella's point of view (again)**

Finally! She was gone and the torture was over! However, we had a despairing Alice, sobbing in the corner of the 'peace circle'.  
"Alice, you have to calm down! It was just a class!" Jasper said for the third time, she wasn't even listening. I felt sorry for her, she did mean well, but this class was probably one of her worst ideas ever.  
"Well, that was interesting! Shall we leave?" Carlisle spoke for the first time in what seemed like hours.  
Various murmurs of agreement came from around the room.  
"Don't forget your masterpieces!" cried Emmett. Everyone picked up their jewelery, except me, mine was just a piece of wire. Everyone else had created beautiful pieces, except Emmett and I, due to clumsiness and oversized hands.

We made our way to the tiny entrance hall, Alice stopped beside the cork noticeboard that held notices of all upcoming classes and workshops.  
"Oh! Look!" she cried. "They have a pottery workshop on Sunday, it's past the deadline for entry fees, but I'm sure-"  
"NO!!"

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